Four kids.

Luca is four weeks old today, and I’ve had so many people ask me how having four children is going. I am writing this post to raise money for boarding school abroad for at least four out of the four that I birthed.

I also just planted my own vineyard, because even Aldi wine is too expensive for my high demand.

Actually, it’s basically just like having three kids but with one tiny one attached to your boob all day.  He isn’t back talking yet, so no discipline involved, just cracked nips.

I’ve definitely found the following things to be more difficult:

Texting people back. No seriously. It’s been bad. I go to pick up my phone and someone poops. There are so many people here that could possibly poop at the same time, causing me whiplash.

Getting out the door. I have not even attempted school drop off in the morning. Besides, my four year old says I cannot go anywhere until my vagina stops bleeding. This is a true statement. I was tempted to tell her that she will have to do all kinds of things while bleeding, but I refrained and told her she could have her 7th fruit snack pack for the day.

I forget to eat. I know you’ve never forgotten right? Me either. Did you watch the last episode of ” This is Us”? That’s the last time I ate a full meal.

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The reality that our family was completed in a way that my heart desired hits me in waves throughout the day.

Like when I watch the older siblings come home from school and go straight to their new brother. I know they had been thinking of him the whole day, just waiting to see him again. It warms my heart when I see our four year old kissing him every five minutes. It also deeply annoys me when she wakes him up from a much needed deep sleep so I can shower.

Finding a routine and balance has been interesting for us , having kids young enough to play together, yet in different stages of life at the same time. Not having a baby boy in  9 years makes you forget their perfect aim in urination. Many a night was spent changing sheets and feeling warm and fuzzy all over.

Watching the older ones care for their brother and try their hardest to help me is sweet and challenging at the same time. The fine line between allowing them to help as much as possible and me keeping my sanity.

The two week post partum point is where I start to feel a little back to normal, and do things I shouldn’t. Like too much housework, rearranging kids rooms and mountain climbing.

Breastfeeding definitely gives me time during the day to sit down and scroll facebook between burps.

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I’m slowly learning that I am a house perfectionist. Only my house. The mini van looks like something from a third world country, but my house…. I like it clean.

Learning to give myself a shit load of grace, and let the kids tear up the house so I can have a moments peace… that’s a big deal for me. I’ve figured out that I am a HAPPIER woman if things are in order. If the laundry is folded and put away, if the dishes don’t line the sink.

But with four children this is near impossible. I am in a brand new stage of life where I HAVE to loosen up, or I will literally have a panic attack.

It’s a beautiful , wonderful awfully hard stage that I am learning the ropes in.

When I say the ropes, I mean that I feel like one is around my neck and I am trying to ignore it before I can no longer breathe.

For more helpful blogs that just ooze wisdom, don’t follow mine.

I am failing daily, losing my mind and finding it all at once, and learning to love it.

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