Let the hurt of friendship go.

Friendship is something that every woman struggles with. No one voluntarily walks into a new friendship with the idea that one day they will have a falling out with this person, and never speak again. Nor does anyone go into a friendship with the intention of growing apart.

But these things happen.  Sometimes it’s as if a friendship slips through our fingers without us even realizing what has happened. We look down at our hands to see only our flesh and wonder where the other person went.

There have been friendships I’ve had in the past that when they slowly ended, I wondered what was wrong with me. I began this unhealthy cycle of comparing myself to other women. Perhaps I wasn’t loyal enough, brave enough, involved enough for them.

After being hurt too many times to count, I am finally in a place where I realize that a friendship should mirror your relationship with Jesus.

Just as your walk with the Lord isn’t performance based, you shouldn’t feel the need to perform for a friend. To impress them. To pursue them when they dismiss your advances.

If women are walking out of your life, let them. Love lets go. 

There are friendships that last a lifetime, but those are rare. I say that because it’s just a fact. I say that because I’ve sown into friendships that were betrayed. That dissolved against my best efforts.

It doesn’t make me right, or the better person, it just makes it true.

When you are confident in who YOU are, and where you are headed in life, some women will be intimidated. When you succeed, some women will not be happy for you. When you are happy, truly happy after a long season of heartache, some women will not rejoice with you.

But, take heart. You WILL find friends who love your confidence, and push you to advance yourself without their gain in mind. You will find women who celebrate your success because they are not intimidated by yours. You will find women who weep with you when you are dying inside. You will find women who reach out to you when all you need is someone to talk to.

I’m learning to shift my focus from my – but’s and what ifs.

But- this person hurt my feelings, more times than I can count. But this person betrayed my trust… but ..but…but….

And focusing on my circle of friends that I have RIGHT NOW.

Get out your phone. Who have you texted this month? Who has made you laugh? Who has cried with you. Who can you trust?

Focus on those people. Let the hurt go.

Friendships end for one reason or another. Sometimes people just grow apart.

When we learn to have peace in each season of our friendships, we can truly give the other person our all. We can be there for the women we love deeply.

If women are walking out of your life, let them. Love lets go. 

You can’t force love to stay. You can fight for righteousness, but in the end people will do what they want to. They will think what they want to of you, despite your best efforts to show them love.

This is why I love freely. I have a vast variety of friendships, because I have nothing to lose. After such a long road, I am secure in knowing that the right women will stick around. The ones that bring me down can walk on out.

Friendships don’t have to cause so much heartache, but we let them. Why? Because most of us invest our heart and soul into loving another woman. Looking at her needs as well as our own. Sometimes even above ours.

We invest a personal connection.

When you invest in something it’s difficult to not receive anything in return, isn’t it?

But that’s what walking in love is.

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