Rainbow fears

I’ve been writing this blog in my heart and mind for a week now. 

Ecstatic at the thought of a rainbow baby, clutched with fear of loss. Again. 

Each milestone I’m embracing with help of Holy Spirit pushing my back as I walk forward into the unknown. 

So grateful for this tiny life my body is allowing to grow inside me. Yet, begging it to stay. Pleading with my body to let this one live. 

A Mothers heart, dependant on Gods mercy to me. Knowing only of his goodness to me, all else I cannot depend on. 

I surrender , my arms open wide for this baby to live. To land in my arms to hold, to love, to teach. 

This great gift I am carrying , made in and through love, I pray you feel Mommas passion for your life to be whole and full of adventures. Here , with me. 

_________________________

The pregnancy of a Rainbow baby shakes you to the core of who you are as a Mother. Hosting a life you’ve prayed for, screaming for redemption of the lives you’ve lost in pain. 

The pain that’s blinded your eyes at times , the pain that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. 

Those babies lives will be validated yet again if you live, my little. Your siblings both here on earth and in heaven are rooting for you to be strong. 

Compared to how much the Father loves you, my love is weak. I can only imagine how much God wants to give you life. 

If I would give my right arm for you to make it earth side, how much more does my God want you to live an abundant life. 

These weeks will be sweet with you sprout. Keep sprouting. Then take root in my heart, you’re safe there. 

There you’ll always be. 

  

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