Today I found Ashers pacifier from when he was an infant. He only wanted that one. So much so that my Mom ordered this special kind from Hawaii. She’s the best Gigi.
Friday he will be eight years old, and as he grows his brother and him favor more and more.
In heaven time is vasty different from here on Earth. Each time I lose a child here, I see them in heaven as much older. Wiser. Full of deep wisdom.
This June, on the 12th will be two years since we lost Jude. Although now it feels like I have known him for centuries, in reality it’s not even been that long since he left my womb, fleeing for heaven.
How can I even blame him? He was sick, with no way to survive on earth. He’s a smart one, and God was so merciful to take him home.
Each time my arms ache to Embrace him , I close my eyes to see what he’s doing in heaven. We have access to that you know. It’s completely possible.
Jude boy is growing quickly , rapidly if you will. From my visual experience life isn’t the same in heaven. Children grow very fast. If you think your children grow too fast on earth, you’ve got another thing coming in heaven. Luckily there will be no tears over birthdays coming too soon, so there’s that.
Just the other week I saw Jude in heaven on what looked like a park bench. Gorgeous colorful flowers surrounded this bench as he sat there alone.
Over the past few months , each time I got a glimpse of him he seemed more mature in stature and age. His eyes wider, his heart large enough to love on millions. His shoulders broader. His love for his Momma bigger.
This time he didn’t sit alone long, soon a young woman came and sat beside him. The two of them laughed and joked together. It was like I was watching my sons relationship with a young lady blossom.
There was nothing wrong or petty about their companionship, it was so pure and true.
The next vision I had of my boy was him in some sort of dirt bike get up, getting ready to have a friendly race. His outfit color was red , and some other colors not known on earth. It resembled fire like colors, as the look on his face screamed victory over the race.
Sometimes I wonder if I am seeing visions of my son in his later years in heaven.
Maybe Papa is allowing me to see the older Jude as opposed to baby Jude that I would weep over.
Either way, I have a boy I know so intimately that I cannot physically hug. It kind of feels like someone ripping my heart from my chest on a daily basis.
The gift that God has given me to see my children in heaven isn’t something I take for granted.
In fact, where much is given much is required.
In JESUS there is much hope.