Raising girls vs boys

Raising two girls and one boy to be respectable human beings is a tough job. My style of parenting varies with each child that disobeys me, and the mood that I am in that day. Who has annoyed me the most, and who has complimented me the most. Also the one that is asleep, they are my favorite.

My favorite one is the one that can fix me a cup of coffee, which is no one yet. So no one is my favorite. Coffee is my favorite.

I’m just kidding y’all. I love all my children equally, and they all annoy me equally. I think they know that, so they each take turns doing stupid stuff to keep things level around here.

Raising girls-

  • There is always more laundry, because they change outfits 27 times a day. You get mad, and then you remember how you did the same thing at their age. You push that out of your memory, drink more coffee and try to find the missing Hello Kitty sock your two year old is crying for.

  • One tiny cut can mean a possible trip to the ER, or in my 4 year olds mind… an amputation. Walking becomes impossible, as they turn into a life-size form of GUMBY. And you hate it.

  • They either LOVE your outfit for the day, or ask you to change into something more fashionable. Mine is usually the second thing I said.

  • When you wake up you see pink things coming at you. When you go to sleep there will be pink things in your dreams. All things pink, trying to assault you.

  • A trip to Target is never easy, as they want to look through the dollar section for that one thing they are allowed to buy, with your money. This takes at least thirty minutes, but allow 45 if there are multiple colors of crowns for sale. Is is true they are really going to start selling wine by the glass at Target? If so, this could help my dollar section tragedy.

  • Giving them the wrong color plate, and or cup for lunch can result in a come to Jesus meeting for the both of you. If you value your life, and love your daughter you will ASK what color she NEEDS. This color is subject to change with the weather, and her color of underwear.

  • When picking them up from school, you will know who hurt their feelings, who their new best friend is, but never what they ate for lunch.


Raising boys:

  • They like things simple. They like to know what is for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Don’t get into too many details, they get bored. And then they get hungry.

  • Matching socks aren’t necessary, or needed. Don’t even fold them. They don’t care.

  • They are hungry on a constant basis, and when they get actually hungry and not bored, they can say hurtful things about last nights meal you lovingly cooked them. This is normal, just feed them.

  • They would wear ONE outfit, including the same underwear the entire school week. Until you make them bathe, or change clothes they are content wearing filth.

  • They are not afraid to jump from high places and give you heart attacks.

  • They are not afraid of a little sickness , or a little blood. But you are.

  • They could live on meat and carbs alone. Forget green things.

  • They have selective hearing. For example: They will hear you when it’s time to eat, they will not hear you when it’s time for a bath. Or brushing their teeth. Every night is a shock from the world of hygiene. Darn the toothpaste.

  • They want one simple answer to the question they just asked you: ” Can I wear my rainboots and play in the mud puddles? – ” Can you fix me a snack?’ – and last but not least – ” Do I have to wash my butt in the shower today?”

  • When asking them how school was you will get zero details on his education for the day, but you will know how many slices of pizza he ate at lunch.

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( This is of course our experience raising our family. Every child is different. Don’t send me mean mail. Thanks! )

Before the staples, relaxing and telling him silly stories to calm him.

Before the staples, relaxing and telling him silly stories to calm him. Because, BOY.

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