I never lie to my children. Except when I have to.

You know all those times in Mother hood that you look your child in the eye and say the sentence that will forever be a lie –

” Would I EVER lie to you? Don’t you know I wouldn’t do that?”

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Today this was during a discussion of who was born first, Rhema ( 4 ) or Adah ( 2 ). Rhema was having trouble understanding just who came out first, and so with all my might I told her she was first. And that I wouldn’t ever lie to her. It was then I had a flash back to a couple of mornings ago that she entered the mini van in search of her beloved doll.

” MOM, WHY IS YOUR BRA IN HERE? AND ALL YOUR JEWELRY? WHY IS MY CAR SEAT ALL THE WAY IN THE BACK?” 

Remembering the late night Anniversary icing on the cake I stood there and spouted out the first thing that came to mind, a lie.

Well, when me and Daddy were on a date I got so hot, So.. I moved your car seat and sat in the back where it was cooler.”

” Then why is your bra in here?”

” Oh well, I was going to take that to a dry cleaner, because I spilled coffee on it at dinner.”

” Oh, when I get big can I have these necklaces?”

” Yes, you can . Do you want some candy?”


Just like that I LIED to my four year old. All was forgotten when I offered her candy. What will I do when she is 14 and has a serious question about sex, or boys, or tampons?

” Here kid, want a Snickers bar?”

Sigh.


I would like to confess another time I have lied to one or three of my children. It’s something I am trying to work on / master for their well being. Such as,

” If you eat ALL those green beans you will be big and strong like your Dad.”

The fact is their Father kind of hates green beans.

Every kid goes to bed at 7:00 just like you do.”

I realize it’s a bit early, but help me.

” If you do not clean your room , we will not go to our playdate.”

Let’s be real. I need this playdate, before I go insane with you in this house.

” You need to get a good nights sleep, or you could be cranky tomorrow.”

I will be cranky if you do not go the heck to sleep right now.

” Chores develop your character, and helping others is good.”

This is true, except sometimes I skip my chores and drink wine.


Is there an age in which I need to stop sugar coating things for my children? If so, please fill me in. Until then I will continue to practice these things for sanity, and nutritional reasons. Who says that oatmeal won’t make you have super powers, and brushing your teeth for five minutes won’t keep germs away?

I think Mothers get some sort of special pass from heaven above saying, I know this is hard and you want to pull your hair out ,but don’t. You have my permission to get them to make wise choices, however this may come about. Also, you look great today. Those new yoga pants are killin it. You would never know your hair has ketchup in it from three days ago.

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