Two years ago if someone would have asked me if I wanted to be a Published Author I would have laughed in their face. Probably so loud that it would be publicly disturbing. My self confidence level was ZERO on a scale from one to upteenth million. I was content with the idea of raising my children, doing it well, and that was it.
Even still, there was a tiny longing , a tiny hope deep inside that I would be something different. I would multitask and become a woman that I could not be on my own free will.
Soon my life threw several road blocks along the way to my dream of becoming whatever it was I wanted. Still unknown as to how I would minister to women, I pressed on and strived to fight my way out of any obstacle that was in my way. Instead of leaning on His presence to get me through, I became very angry. Very self absorbed in my pain and soon I began writing.
As my hands grazed the keys, I became a different woman. At first writing gave me a high, so intoxicating that I often cried when I would finish an article. It became a release of the presence of God in my life. The only outlet I had, as a Mother to three small children.
I became lost in the words, and soon I began to identify myself as a writer. I was a wife first, mother second, and writer third.
The months went on and soon I found myself relying on my writing to give me peace. When the days events were long and hard, I wrote. I realized quickly that His presence came upon me as I wrote. I believe it was my time for him to pour his love into my spirit as I allowed his gifting inside me to flow out.
When we take what life hands us, and begin to worship him anyway, new dreams are developed in our hearts that couldn’t have been birthed any other way but through pain. When we are in pain, we are more likely to lean on him for relief. Our life line in times of need becomes our constant support, and soon we fall in love with his presence in the midst of our heartache. Once we have walked out of a difficult season, we have reached a deeper level of his love for us that most do not experience.
Pain in our lives is never a thing we would choose if we had a choice. In fact if we all had a choice for our day tomorrow to be joyful and perfect, we would choose it . But the fact is that we do live in a fallen world where things happen, disappointments happen to us. But what we have to ingrain into our hearts is that HIS plans for us are always good. No matter the journey to the ” good ” he has planned, we are growing into the person he intends us to be.
So , maybe you’re in a difficult season right now. If you are, I encourage you to begin to use your gifts he has given you to worship him regardless of how you feel. Once you do, new truths and revelations will come directly from the Holy Spirit living inside you as you let him out through your gifting.
We aren’t meant to only praise him when all is well. When we praise him ANYWAY , that’s where character is born. That’s where the spirit within us rises to encourage our hearts.