The tooth fairy is FIRED!

When I became a mother I knew of all my duties and requirements of taking care of the child I gave birth to. I wasn’t aware, however of the shoes I would need to fill, those of mythical creatures, and persons untrue. 

I am pretty sure that I was more excited about my first child losing his first tooth than he was. After school, he showed me this said tooth that was hanging by a literal thread of his gum line. Being the brave boy he is he told me to ” JUST PULL IT!”.

Giddy with excitement, I pulled the tiny tooth with one go and all was well. Laughter and thrills commenced as Asher ran around the house shouting of his victory. I held back the Momma tears as he put his tooth in a plastic bag, and underneath his pillow.


As we walked out the door to a date night I looked at my husband and said this sentence:

” Honey, please please remind me to put money under Asher’s pillow tonight. “

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Date night was blissful, so blissful in fact that we came home and went straight to bed. No kiss goodnight, we simply fell into bed, and slept until morning. That is until Asher awoke me at 6 AM, with the words that will forever haunt my Motherhood failure:

THE TOOTH FAIRY IS NOT REAL MOM. I JUST CHECKED AND SHE DIDN’T LEAVE ME ANYTHING. NO MONEY, NO TOYS, NO CANDY. I HATE HER. SHE IS SO MEAN!”

With that being said I jumped out of bed and hugged my son. A chill of failure and OH CRAP filled my veins.

” Oh honey, I’m sure she didn’t forget you! Sometimes she puts it in other places. Hang on, go sit on the sofa and I will look!”

I panicked. I needed coffee desperately, but had no choice but to make things right. It was too early for a crisis. My eyes weren’t adjusted to the kitchen lights as I fumbled to find money.

I opened the cabinet and dipped my hand into the change jar. No matter the amount of money I grabbed , it didn’t matter. I was a freaking idiot that forgot about being a tooth fairy. With a wod of change in my hand I rushed into his room and shoved my hand underneath the lining of his pillow.

” ASHER, COME LOOK! I FOUND YOUR PRIZE FROM THE TOOTH FAIRY!”

” Sometimes she hides the money INSIDE your pillow so no one will take it. Like your little sisters, or your puppy. See, she didn’t forget at all!”

With the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on Ashers face he hugged me and told me he was sorry for doubting the tooth fairy. I made a mental note to give him the most money in my will, as to make up for the horrible lie I had just told. Also, to buy him a nice first car.

When the Mustang pulls up in the driveway he will be at a loss for words as to why he is able to drive such a cool car. I will be in the background nodding, and handing him the keys. Son , do you remember the time you thought the tooth fairy forgot you? Well , she did son. That’s why you ended up with around $5 in change from Mommy’s change jar. I didn’t have long to grab the money, and my hands are abnormally large for my size. 

I lied to you, for the first time. That’s why you deserve this Mustang. Also, if you could slap me in the face that would help too. Thanks.

To all the Mothers that are on Tooth Fairy duty tonight, don’t be like me. Remember to put a dollar underneath your child’s pillow. Be better than I am.

God Speed.

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6 thoughts on “The tooth fairy is FIRED!

  1. Bahaha! I forgot my oldest and thank the Lord I wake up before anyone in my house! While she was stretching and still sleepy I remembered and slid that money under the pillow! She was never any wiser ; )

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Laughing so much about this! Since Julia’s lost like 20 teeth now, it’s happened to us more than once! Such panic, I know. Oh, the silly things we do to bring our kids joy!

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