I can’t tell you the number of times as I child I ran from Gods love. I didn’t fully believe he loved me ALL the way, not until I was a teenager. Maybe He loved the way I cared for my siblings, or how I passed my Spelling test in 4th grade, but surely he didn’t love the parts of me I wasn’t proud of. I lived in bondage to fear of his judgement. Constantly on edge, constantly repenting for silly things like :
Picking my nose. Not finishing my broccoli at the dinner table. Not reading my bible at night. Looking in the mirror too much. Not looking in the mirror enough. The list goes on and you get the idea that I was a pretty fearful kid. I spent many a night on my parents bed confessing these things to them, while they assured me I would in fact NOT be going to hell for all eternity. It was a deep deep fear of mine, and Satan loved it.
Today was a rare day in which I was home all day with the kids. One home sick from school, and two little chatty girls. I was able to get ten thousand things done while they played, and surprisingly they played well together.
Folding the laundry the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said : Today I want you to tell your children you love them. All day long. I have something I need to show you.
So I did. The reaction varied from child to child, but I pressed on. Relentlessly telling them what I loved about them, and that I loved them all the same. I love you I love you came off my lips as I kissed boo boo’s and fixed lunch. The squeals and delight I got in return about busted my heart wide open. Even as I was disciplining I repeated I love you.
Towards the afternoon I saw what he was showing me. He said:
Do you see now? See that I try all day long to show you how much I love you, but often you are preoccupied. They are Christians I love that don’t believe I really love ALL of them. I’m in your face , whispering I love you daughter. The whole day long.
With different personality types and situations in life, often people need a little persuasion when they are told they are loved. Sometimes they need to hear it all day long to believe it. Some go years attending church and not fully believing Christ is LOVE. He is for us.
This can often be why people run from the Lord, to hide their flaws. Guess what? We can’t hide them. Not ever. We might as well accept his love now and stop living feeling unloved. When we feel unloved we do things out of character, and hurtful to our lives.
There is a freedom I feel he is releasing into my spirit that I want to impart to you. To accept his fullness of love and the fullness of his spirit that lives in you.
25 Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives