The first day of school gave my tear ducts a good release.
You know how it goes. Your newborn walks into Kindergarten and you feel the need to still breastfeed him as he hangs his book bag in his cubbie. Wait , excuse me I swaddled you last night as I put you to bed. You aren’t ready to be independent. Did you not wear your new BIB I got you at Carters? I told you to put it on as we walked out the door. I also packed you some rice cereal mixed with breast milk for lunch. This should help you make friends quickly and give you plenty of energy for gym class.
If you miss me too much, I also included a picture of you crowning in the hospital. This will also strike up a great conversation with your new peers. Although they will get to know me on a personal level, your teacher can now recognize you by your head. No need for name tags. I’ll stick the picture in the window of my mini van for the car rider line for easy entry in the van. Pun intended. Or exit, either way she will know who you are.
This is normal.
Your heart hurts as you leave the building, You sob a bit and then remember that you can now meet your friends for coffee uninterrupted. You frolic into Panera and order something semi healthy and loads of coffee on the side. You miss your child slightly as you are able to have an adult conversation and you again feel human. A woman with a vagina that birthed lots of kids. The same vagina that is hanging in your mini van window for all the world to see. Dilated to a 10.
All in all you survived the first day of school. Your child is alive and well. And HUNGRY. What the world?!
Now comes the next day and the day after that. Will you trust Jesus with your babies? I’m learning to . Embracing his love for them. Can you even fathom that he loves them more than we do? Incredible.