The most precious and horrible thing about marriage is that you are two different people, with two different brains. This week we had several, ” why can’t you think like me!?” and declared war on each other via text message.
I bought a Zena warrior princess costume and a vintage sword and hostler on Amazon. It was amazing the confidence it gave me as I ordered take out from a local Chinese restaurant. My meal ended up being free, which was a blessing. Although the free jail cell meal wasn’t what I had in mind for a Thursday night. Note to self, and fellow warrior princesses, do not bring your sword into a Chinese restaurant and speak like Darth Vader. Somehow that is against a law somewhere. And socially unacceptable. Whatever.
Either way I still got a free meal and a new tattoo I’ve been saving up for. I let my jail cell mate choose what she thought would best fit my personality. For some reason she gave me a tear drop on my face. She told me that it means something Chinese for love. After the bleeding stopped ,and I became conscious again, I was all the sudden respected and feared. Maybe that means they saw Jesus shining through me. I was able to get out on bail, sweet! What a night.
I put the costume up for a rainy day, and spoke civilly to my dear husband. Who was wrong of course. I know everything and I’m awesome. I can breastfeed an almost two year old while making spaghetti and drinking wine at the same time. It’s a talent only few awesome Moms have.
The Matrix like battle was a decision we had to make about a child’s education. We have never in our whole 100 years of marriage butted heads like we did this week. But we learned that butting heads is necessary in such occasions. If we agreed on everything all the time then make up sex wouldn’t exist. Flower companies would go out of business, and we would be the most boring couple on the planet.
In the end we learned that marriage is a lot about compromise. We have to lay our pride down, even me…and see what is in the best interest of the WHOLE family. Not just us, not just the kids. Everyone. We love our children, and want what is best for them , but when we allow them to come before our marriage and intimate times together, we are in the end hurting them. Showing them not to value their future marriage. When we as parents are in unity, the whole family benefits.
The problem was solved and in the end everyone felt respected and heard. It only took a few hand grenades and sling shot accuracy to be heard. The doctors tell me Matt will live. We have renters insurance, so the busted windows aren’t a big deal. I kid.
When we step out of our comfort zones, and really try and understand our spouses thoughts, we grow into a unity stronger than before. When you have to dish out a subject, it doesn’t make your marriage bad. It just makes you realize more about your spouse that you hate, and that you love. Let’s be honest, they both shape why you married them. They both make you love them and annoy each other more. Don’t get so caught up in being a perfect couple. Let the disagreements happen, just make sure in the end you deal with any bitterness you felt towards them during the argument. Forgive and move on.
I’m learning to step out of my comfort zone in writing. I usually only write when the children are restrained in their beds, or watching a movie, asleep or chained to a tree.
Today I wrote this blog bravely while they were playing. Adah took off her diaper and peed on the couch. Asher put on a fashion show with every pajama on his body possible and Rhema brushed her teeth with my tooth brush and hemorrhoid cream. Which is a major sin in this household for obvious reasons.