The robot Mom and why I am not her.

20140708-111222.jpg

The struggle to get in the door is just about as difficult as getting out. Everyone grab their towels and snack trash left on the van floor. The very tidy van floor. Tidy means with spots of goldfish and old French fries and things called surprises. I can’t promise the surprises will be pleasant and most likely they will make your stomach turn. Three kids in a mini van means something nasty.

I promise to vacuum out the van when the kids give me grandchildren or at least can brush their own teeth. When is that? 16?

We scrambled in the back door from a day at the lake. Towels were thrown in a heap on the kitchen floor and the troops were lined up for bath and shower time. Soaping them up and trying to remember where I put the PJ’s I already had laid out to make my life easier I was released from a HUGE lie that I had ingrained in my mind my entire Motherhood walk.

I have to ENJOY every second with my kids. For if I don’t I’m a horrible Mom.

This lie always leads to guilt. I mean every time I give into it. It turns into something nasty called being ungrateful.

There are so many pressures being a Mom. And can I be super honest? There are MORE pressures being a Christian mother.

Why? Because we KNOW children are a blessing from The Lord. We know they are a gift and their lives are precious. We KNOW that raising them is a privilege. We know we are only borrowing them from The Lord for a short while, and while we have them it’s our very important role to love them and lead them to The Lord.

So why can’t I always enjoy that?

Because we live in a fallen world. We live in a world where we do have to discipline our children because they do make mistakes.

But we also live in freedom too. We are free to be sad. Free to be mad. Free to love. Free to feel disappointment. Free to have a hard day. Free to cry. Free to dance. Free to rejoice and free to ….

Feel.

I would be a robot if I had no emotion or feeling in my motherhood. I would be hurtful to my children if I didn’t feel compassion when they were upset. I wouldn’t be showing them grace and Gods redemption if I always had a super good day. A constant smile on my face and a Perfect outlook on life.

Children need to see you fall so they can see you get back up.

They need to see their mother parent with courage and strength. But with courage comes opposition and with strength comes years of building it. Building it comes with a lot of failures and a lot of do overs.

Am I saying walk around like a lazy bum and yell at your kids whenever you feel like it because surely they will learn life sucks?

No.

I’m saying , give yourself the same grace you give your children. To have a bad day. To have a hard day. Because you know what, you will learn more about yourself and your relationship with The Lord when you are honest with yourself.

Hey that lake trip wasn’t very fun. I had to constantly be on guard with the kids to make sure everyone made it out alive. And that’s ok. Because they did. And I survived too. Because I’m a real person. Not a robot.

I will no longer place myself above what I expect from our children. I’m a child in the kingdom. Learning and growing.

And feeling.

So before you let the enemy tell you that you should enjoy every.single.tiny. Moment with your children , remind yourself that you are allowing yourself to experience Gods grace that’s there for the taking. You’re allowing him to help you with bath time. You’re allowing him room in your heart and mind when you admit you need him.

So admit today that you are an imperfect mom. Then let him help you shake off the lies of the enemy , and let him show you grace. I promise you will feel free.

And maybe have time to clean out your mini van.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s