Are you standing at the gate , looking in?

Lately this week The Lord has challenged me to really enjoy my children’s laughter. To some Mothers, this is a simple task. But for me, when my kids get loud I get anxious. Real anxious.

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Settle down y’all. It’s almost bedtime. The giggles erupt and I start the countdown to quiet. In the back of my mind I see myself with a glass of vino, sprawled out on the sofa not using my brain waves. Some days I am that.tired. , but He has challenged me to notice their joy in the simplest of things.

Yesterday was a series of events in which my children laughed. I mean all day long. It was a fun day, and they climbed into bed willingly, which is a rare event. Even then the two oldest share a room, so I could hear their laughter at the other end of the house.

I’ve been in a short season in which I don’t feel super connected to the Holy Spirits voice. I know he is always speaking and leading me, but for some reason I feel he is being quiet. In that quiet I am still learning , still growing . But it’s different. I’m learning to grow in the silence of my days. I’ve been asking him to speak, and yesterday I believe he did.

Playing outside with the kids while their younger sister napped I sat and observed them. It was almost as if I was looking with heavens eyes at my kids. My eyes were opened to what joy looks like and should feel like. We can have joy in all times, because we can choose it. But often that’s easier said than done. Often He sends other people into our lives when we don’t feel so joyful, to show us joy.

Like my children.

In their laughter I see that I am loved to the fullest extent. I’m loved by their smiles and their joy, because HE has trusted their hearts with mine. So in a time where sometimes have a hard time finding the joy , it’s right there laughing in my face.

It’s at bedtime , under the covers calling out to me in a giggle. It’s one more Popsicle after dinner in the back deck with their Daddy. It’s in a wrestling match on the living room floor. It’s all around me, the joy I long for.

I just need to learn to embrace it for myself. Trust that I can be like a child and laugh again. Because it’s in me to do that. He’s created us for joy.

So when you feel like you are behind the child gate looking into the playroom, gather all the laughter you can get. Surround yourself with people that make you laugh and lift you up. Because eventually you will be tall enough to climb over to them. And laugh all by yourself. Regardless of your surroundings, because He is the joy inside you.

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