A conversation with a friend today on life’s troubles had me doubled over laughing. And laughter was just what I needed. Seriously though, laugher releases things you didn’t realize you were holding onto. It un clouds your mind. Makes you feel more human than five seconds before.
Just laughing .
We were talking about how hard life can be and dealing with traumatic events. The convo goes like this:
Friend : ” Don’t you regret singing those old songs like , ” Purify my heart” and ” Refiners fire.”
Me: or ” Open the eyes of my heart Lord.”
No! Close the dang things. For Gods sake. I’m tired.
Working on a new song : Pass the Melatonin.
We were only joking but , it’s painfully true. When we ask The Lord to open our eyes and our hearts there is almost always pain involved. I know I know, he wants to give us abundant life . His joy is always there to lift us up and make us laugh. And as we walk with him he always lifts the pain. We can see him there in it. If we chose to. That’s when a relationship is made. A friendship .
Watching my kids in the snow yesterday showed me his heart to make us clean, whole and pure. It showed me that I do not:
But what I have is the fruit of the spirit, which is always in access.
Love, joy, peace , forbearance, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control.
Last night while rocking Adah to sleep The Lord began to speak to me about moving around in different ways during trials. Trying things you’ve never done before during a hard time in your life.
He was stretching me to see life his way. I’ve been dealing with some unwanted anxiety. Ha! Who ever wants anxiety. That was a stupid sentence. I’m sorry.
It’s a daily battle that I’m fighting. Or I was fighting it. We can fight our own battles or let him fight for us. Because he is in us. I still carry my sword around. I suit up in my full armor, but it’s not longer heavy. Mine is made specially of styrofoam and recycled materials. It’s practically weightless. You should see how many donations I get from concerned spectators at the grocery store.
I’m not saying I’ve become lazy spiritually , but when you’re so tired you can’t even speak, he speaks for you. He hears us in our groaning and weeping. But he has an advantage, he can see you on the other side of this season. He can see you victorious, because with him you are.
Can I also just say that he has a hilarious sense of humor? As soon as he told me to try new things, move new ways , and I agreed to …. Adah refused to go to sleep. Like I’m talking it’s almost 2 am and she is WIDE awake. Momma needs sleep babe. So I did what I hadn’t done in almost 5 years. I’m not proud nor ashamed .
I got in her crib with her. I’m in survival mode y’all. Whatever it takes to get some sleep. My left eye is twitching. It’s not pretty.
But what I noticed in the small space with my small daughter was that when life feels very small and we feel very confined we really aren’t. There’s a whole room beside our cribs and a door we can walk out of. As her mother I know this , so I’m more confident in her safety. She can’t yet climb out of the crib. There’s no harm in her sleeping in it.
There’s also no harm in you sleeping, resting during your trials. It’s really needed .
He wants you to rest in him. He wants you to climb in your child’s crib. And if you don’t have one, you are always free to borrow Adah’s.
She hates it. It’s usually vacant. Or I’m in there. Not sleeping.