Understand that with this post I’m not saying that way I experience the Lords presence is the only way, or the right way. In fact I wouldn’t recommend it if you don’t want to look like an idiot in the middle of a church service. But he doesn’t give me much choice, and either way I wear extra deodorant.
Worship at our church is always anointed, but today there was a very sweet atmosphere. I walked in and noticed several people that hadn’t been there in years, back to Grace. Whether they were just visiting or there to stay I thought it very symbolic of the harvest that is coming this year. Things we have prayed for and longed for are coming to past and I’m ready.
As I was worshipping I felt this strong presence in front of me. It was almost as if I reached out grabbed this new intimacy. I was taken deeper into a layer I had rid myself of years ago. The layer of trusting him was restored and I was helplessly letting him rock me like an infant. My dad could sense and most likely see the presence of The Lord on me, so he came behind me and began praying for more.
More was a small word to describe what I felt. It was more like a freight train of his unending love for me that was being poured into my being. I began shaking and convulsing , I could no longer stand and ended up down on my knees. I sat there for a minute praying and laughing . Crying and giggling. Then I felt these little hands rest on my legs. I thought it was someone praying for me , so I didn’t open my eyes. Instead I waited for them to speak.
They never spoke so I opened my eyes to see Adah resting her hands on my legs. Asher watching me with tears in his eyes and Rhema standing in front of me , jaw dropped. They all ran and got into my lap. So many questions flooded forth.
” Momma, why are you shaking? Why are you crying? Who pushed you down, I saw Something push you down .”
It was a perfect opportunity to explain to them the power of the presence of God. After I was finished explaining my behavior I really feel like they understood. Why shouldn’t they be able to understand? They can hear his voice just as well as we can. There’s no JR Holy Spirit.
Come along children, let’s whisk you away from the power of The Lord. Nah. He wants to show them now who he really is. What he can really do.
I’ll never forget that sweet moment with all three of my kids. They were very receptive to what I had to say because they saw with their own eyes their Mother being moved by the Holy Spirit. That’s something I’ve been praying for. For them to see.
Right before the service started my Dad was one of the people to take up the offering. He passed by me standing at my seat. Once again he saw what the Holy Spirit was doing and wanted to bless that. He laid his hands on me and I was suddenly on a episode of Jerry Springer. I had just found out the man I slept with only once was in fact NOT the father of my baby. I was flaring about like a bat out of hell.
I’ve NEVER behaved like that. Sorry folks. I couldn’t control my body. I think at one point I kicked the seat in front of me? I don’t know . Either way I ended up back in my seat with Matt on one side and my butt was halfway on my brothers lap. Sorry Sam . With my dad still praying for increase of his presence I began to get these waves of electric shock. They weren’t painful , but they were to the point where I could not stop shaking. Service started and I knew I had to get up . I had to go somewhere and jump.
What better place than the women’s restroom? I closed the stall door and just started jumping. Tears of unexplainable joy streamed down my face and I felt a freedom IN communion with him. This was no un fermented wine y’all. This was at least 15.9% . The good stuff. I was drinking it in and couldn’t stop. Why would I ever want to stop being in his presence?
I composed myself slightly. Wiped the massive gobs of mascara from my face and went back into service. People that saw me walking in probably thought I was having a seizure , as I could not walk straight. I’m not very coordinated anyway, so I’m used to this.
Trust me, this ties together. Grab a glass of vino.
For a week now Asher has come home from school devastated that he is the only one in his class that hasn’t lost a tooth.
” There’s something wrong with my mouth Momma. I know it. I’m so mad at my teeth.”
I’ve tried to explain one will get loose in it’s own time. A five year old boy doesn’t understand, nor want to understand the value of seasons. What we can learn during them while we wait. How we behave while we wait. He just wants to have a visit from the tooth fairy and impress his friends with a toothless grin.
You guys. I was a five year old boy for YEARS! I compared myself to people I looked up to spiritually. I was lacking. I wasn’t good enough, smart enough to receive his presence. I must have just been an unfeeling , boring Christian.
For years I begged, and I do mean begged to feel his presence like my earthly father. But it wasn’t until I confessed this to my Dad that I truly was truly free of self condemnation and lack. Lack of faith. Which wasn’t the case at all.
It was my faith that made me so long for sweet moments with him. What I didn’t realize is I WAS having encounters with him, but I was not yet ready for more.
Last night laying in bed praying I saw a vision of these flip books. You remember making those when you were little at school.
Yeah me either. I wasn’t paying attention and most likely got my neighbor to complete it for me. But it’s those books that you color pictures and it creates a story as you flip them.
In this vision I was flipping one of those books. My hands were going so fast , but I could see that the pictures were like a ” Where’s Waldo'” book. The Lord began to speak, and I’ve learned to relent and listen:
::People try to flip through seasons searching for my presence . For a taste of my flesh and blood. They spend their whole lives trying and trying , and they MISS what there is to learn right now. when all they need to do is rest in me. In a where’s Waldo book the purpose is to enjoy playing the game of hide and seek. Not to be stressed if you can’t find a particular item. At times what people are searching for and asking of me is not what I want to give them in that season. They waste so much time. That’s why it’s so important to rest in my presence . Then the gifts flow freely. My yoke is so easy. My burden is so light. ::
If you are striving today. Stop. Stop comparing yourself to people.
Am I saying stop seeking his face? Never. Keep pressing in , but most importantly ..
Let him love you.