Freedom in new wine

Today in my living room I got to sit and chat with two very influential women in my young married life. These women shaped me into the wife I am today. In our early years of marriage they mentored me and loved me into being a leader.

One in particular taught me how to love my husband. Getting married very young I needed a mentor. I needed someone to love me and show me what a Godly wife was supposed to look Iike. She was that for me. I learned grace from her, and how to be a lady.

For personal reasons I will not state the name of the business group Matt and I were very involved in for 5 years, but I will tell you a little bit about our experiences, because I believe Jesus wants me to. My heart is pounding out of my chest to share. So share I will.

In This business group you were taught to sell . Selling is not something I’m comfortable with , so in our marriage I struggled to be %100 in this area. I struggled with my identity. I struggled with feeling genuine and not knowing if my interest in a new friend was for the love of money or just love. Matt and I became materialistic . We bought two overpriced BMW’s and rode around like royalty.

We were taught that success is only one way. And if you quit, you were just like all the rest.

There was an intense pressure on us to be perfect. It wasn’t spoken on at meetings, but I could feel it in my spirit. So much so that after a few years I would throw up before meetings. I couldn’t do it any longer. But I wanted to support Matt, who was still convinced we could make it big.

The Lord knew who would be my mentor all along. I believe that he made her join in at just the right time in her life to love me. With all the pressure around me, I never felt it from her. Never did her smile look unloving. Never did a note she wrote me seem cliche.

She was the real deal. And I knew she loved me.

She could, and still does light up a room with her smile. Her laughter is contagious and her love for people is one of the most real things I’ve seen. It was her that kept me going when I wanted to pitch a fit. Cry and scream at myself for not being …

Rachel Haggerty.

I was trying to be SO many other names. I was exhausting myself trying to meet expectations of others that don’t care about me now. They don’t care about the wife I am or the mother or friend I am. They are still hard at work , reaching their goals while stepping on the hearts of people that loved them.

But not these two.

We have formed a bond that’s un breakable, because we have been through thick and thin together. We can relate on a level that most people cannot.

We are free.

I watched this woman , my mentor and sister in the lord go through a horrific divorce right before my eyes. The pain I felt for her was unbearable . It hit home for me because this woman was my life. I looked up to her and basically devoted my life to trying to be LIKE her. I had questions. I didn’t get answers until years later.

Today was redemptive in many ways. I got answers because after seven years she still loves me. She still cares for me and I believe still mentors me. Once you are a mentor for younger women, you always are. There’s a grace on her life in a way that she can love young women unceasingly.

In fact, as I type this I know that being a mentor for her is not over. There will be a grace for her heart and a guard from the Holy Spirit to minister to young women that have been wounded in situations like this. It won’t be necessarily in a business setting, because she has been deeply wounded from that. But it will be in her everyday life that she loves on wounded women, and brings them back to his heart.

Who they are to be. Which is not her. But the name on their birth certificate.

The other woman mentioned has been such a shoulder for me. And by shoulder I mean several things. Can I just highlight her for a minute?

She has been someone I have called with a crazy spiritual question. She makes me feel less crazy town, and more normal. There is an anointing on her life to call out the destiny in women. She has the power to speak truth into a situation when all I’ve seen is hopelessness. She is a mighty. Mighty. Woman of our Father. I feel a connection with her that is indescribable. It’s as if I saw her yesterday sitting with her today. I thank God for her daily.

She has been a shoulder from afar to cry on. To hold my belongings when I was exhausted . And to carry weight for me when I could no longer walk. This past year with all my spiritually exhausting events, I could call on her and I know she was going before The Lord on my behalf. I could feel it.

So you see. What the enemy meant to destroy friendships , mindsets and identities …. We only became stronger.

We only became victors . Because he won the battle long ago. He gave us the weapons to overcome self criticism and showed us where we really belonged.

On his lap. Free.

My dear friend brought me a housewarming gift. You guessed it . Wine.

Pouring a glass tonight after the kids were in bed I noticed something. Looking at the wine bottle I laughed aloud.

The wine is named : The prisoner

Then The Lord spoke:

:: for you are no longer prisoners. You are free in me. Where your freedom has always awaited you my daughters::

:: you are pouring this wine into new wine skins::

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Freedom in new wine

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