What does his faithfulness look like in your life right now?
To me it looks like several things. It looks like on my 26th birthday with my husband and my children being out of a home, we still have a home with family. It looks like my van broke down on the side of the road, but I have no where to be.
Do we put him in a box so often that we don’t notice that he IS faithful in EVERY area of our lives. I woke up this morning to my sweet grinning five year old screaming in my ear:
” HAPPY BIRTHDAY Momma! Did you make cinnamon rolls?!”
Yes, yes I did. In fact I noticed they weren’t rising correctly. It’s never a good idea to drink wine while baking something important. Cinnamon rolls are seriously important and vital to my well being. Laying in bed last night it hit me. I forgot the baking powder, baking soda and salt. But I didn’t forget that second glass of wine. Priorities. It was my birthday Eve.
They were still good. No one complained. Good. It was my birthday anyway. Go to Cinnabon. With the van that I have . Lol.
I find it not at all coincidental that I ended up back at home with my parents this weekend. Of course the enemy wanted to make me feel like a failure. You’re not providing stability for your children. It was your choice to move to that house that made you sick. It was your choice to be selfish against your husband and his needs. Look at your children sleeping on a futon together. They need their own beds. Their own house.
Shut up .
Yesterday when my van broke down all I could do is laugh. Because I’ve learned over the course of a disappointing year that my attitude changes the whole atmosphere around me. I was calm. I laughed a lot with my sisters. I chose joy in it. I mean, it was really stupid right? In the midst of everything going on that my car would break down. Break down. Breakdown.
He was showing me something. He was using this for my good. When you don’t have a car to get anywhere it gives you time to twiddle your thumbs and rest. Jk. It gives you time to think of how to keep your children entertained, and clean up more messes… But even still …
I’ve rested. I’ve had a margarita but I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.
My dad took the opportunity that I was here to minister to me. We all sat in the breakfast nook and he prayed over our family. Over our house situation. Car situation. Financial stresses. Places where the enemy has stolen money and time and joy. Holy Spirit came upon me so strong I began to shake.
He SEE’S us in this season. He SEE’S our struggles and has already assigned Angels in our new home! Ha! He has placed them to prepare the way for us. Even better he is in preparation to restore finances that were stolen from us, to even greater prepare the way for our new home.
It will be a peaceful house that people will be drawn to. You, yeah you… You’re invited. His presence is dwelling there even now. Waiting for us to come and receive him. More of him.
He’s been revealing burdens I’ve been carrying today. Burdens for people I love. Things that are completely out of my control. As I’m typing he is telling me to lay them at the cross he bore for me.
Burdens are silent killers. They are joy killers. Family killers and faith killers. They creep in because we open the door with a remorseful smile. We pray over them and love them, but they never go home. They stay and we keep entertaining them and trying to fix the very problem that brought them there. Over and over we replay in our minds what we could have done to fix it.
It becomes our burden to carry, when in most cases the person you are burdened for doesn’t feel it like you do. For me, I physically feel burdens I’ve been carrying.
I’m done. On my 26th birthday I am going to be reborn .
He revealed to a dear friend a song for me that I actually heard live when I was in California. He spoke to my spirit then about burdens , but today is when he wanted to lift me.
You’ve brought me to the end of myself
And this has been the longest road
Just when my hallelujah was tired
You gave me a new song
I’m letting go, I’m letting go
I’m letting go, and falling into you.
I confess I still get scared sometimes
But perfect love comes rushing in
And all the lies that screamed inside go silent
The moment you begin
You remind me of things forgotten
You unwind me unto I’m totally undone
And with your arms around me
Fear was no match for your love
Now you’ve won me
All of this is and was for my good. Because he is so incredibly good and faithful. I’ve known this my whole life. But now I taste it. He is preparing my birthday present. It’s a secret. But I’ll un wrap it soon. So soon.
He is allowing us to live from place to place and out of suitcases to prepare us for later when he will call us to minister in other countries. He’s preparing our children to be flexible. Preparing our minds to move in an instant. He’s really just protecting us. And all this time I’ve fought him and complained. No more. I’m yours Lord.
What have you laid down before him lately?