Thinking on the Lords will today, selfish wants got in the way. What if what I am praying for isnt his will? What if his will isnt what I want? He began to speak and say, ” Am I good Rachel?”
Yes, Lord you’re so good. ” Then my will must be good.” No longer will I be reserved in my prayers. No longer will I hold back my heart from Him. He is so good, and his will is greater than I could ever want for myself.
From a young age The Lord had my heart. He gripped me and romanced me. When I was about 10 years old my Mom took me to my yearly check up. My doctor was alone in the room with me, examining my body and discussing puberty with me. This was nothing new to me, as I felt like I grew up so fast. Not physically , in fact I was the last of my friends to have a figure… And really I’m still waiting on that figure…pass the butter. But mentally I’ve always felt older than I really was.
Sitting on the examining table he says ,
“Rachel, who has control over your body?”
” No Rachel who has control over your body?”
“I told you, God does Dr. young.”
He stopped arguing with me and shook his head. He brought my Mom in and tried to explain to her that I need to take control over my own body. He told her what I said and she smiled knowingly at me. She knew . He told her that I needed to be aware that my body is mine and mine alone . No one else can ever have control over me.
That was the last time I went to that doctors office. I refused. I had such a righteous anger for that place. It felt wrong.
For years I’ve struggled with praying for His will to be done. I was reluctant for only one reason. What if his plans for me aren’t good? I believe that’s one of the reasons he had me trust him and fast meat for a whole year. To show me that my body is his. My thoughts are his thoughts. His reasons are to grow me and show me his love.
When we really believe that our Father is good we will begin to see him for who he really is. But that’s not the end of it.
We have to learn to receive his love.
If we aren’t receivers, we can’t in fact be good givers.
I’m currently at the coast with my family. Breathing deeper. Literally and figuratively. He is having me trust him with some health issues. Some things I don’t understand, but I know he does. He sees things I don’t see . And I’m trusting him to show me.
Because I believe he is a good Father.
He is a good Father to you.