Often Jesus brings me back to a place to show me how to surrender.
How to trust him.
Today he showed me just that.
I had to get some fun lab work done today. It was mostly like a day at the spa, I didn’t have my three littles. I even painted my nails before I went. Fixing my hair was pushing it, but I did shower.
“Your doctor want a hair sample? Girl WHY!? You think you gots a TOXIN?!”
“oh yes ma’am, we are trying to figure that out.”
“Oh cuz you is skinny.”
Should I have said thank you? Moving on.
“which arm you wanna use?”
I explained my left arm had been a pin cushion at the hospital so I would rather my right. I felt The Lord smile as I laid out my right. I have a matching tattoo with my sister that reads on my wrist ” Life “. He was showing me once again to chose life, not fear. Although I should have been afraid of her needle happy hands.
Can I just say she gave me no sweet warning. No pat on the shoulder.
She stuck me hard. I mean, I’ve had babies so I should be tougher. I chose to close my eyes so who knows how many viles of blood she drew. The room started to spin and I questioned my reasons for being there. Can I have a sip of Coke? Whiskey?
“You done hunny.”
If my arm wasn’t the size of my 1 year olds I bet it wouldn’t hurt as much. But it hurt. I need to start lifting some weights in my spare time. Between wiping Asher’s butt and chasing a duck out of my kitchen. I could find some time there.
Do I get a sticker? No. I get a big fat receipt.
As I walk out to the parking lot The Lord begins to speak.
Well actually I got lost. So ten minutes after getting a tour of the building I make it back to my car. It’s pretty structurally sound. I’m a carpenters daughter. It could use some color and a few happy people, but it’s got potential.
She’s smiling? Why!
I see my van. Wait, is that my van? Van. Van. Sorry I had to get that out.
The Lord begins to stir something in my spirit. What lord? What are you trying to show me? Is there a baby bunny looking for his mother? I’ll take it home!
Do you remember this place Rachel? The day you cried out to me. Screamed. Refused to trust me?
I seriously didn’t remember. I was wracking my brain for memories. None came. I sat in my van for a good while. In silence. What Lord?
I look directly in front of me to an older building that looks as if it’s abandoned. The memories started coming I waves. I remembered sitting there in my car crying and being upset with him. But I could not for the life of me remember why.
I started the van and headed home. It wasn’t until I was halfway home that he revealed it to me.
Rachel, when you were house hunting for your farm house you stopped there. Frustrated . Down . Exhausted. You were upset with me. You thought I forgot about you. Don’t you see how I fixed it? Don’t you SEE that I’m GOOD. Don’t you see that I am faithful to my children? To you.
I will fix this too. Your health is in my hands.
Sometimes you need to step away from a situation to see it clearer. To hear him clearer. In the heat of the moment it’s easy for our emotions to take control. For our Adrenaline to rush.
So regardless of my test results tomorrow , his plan for my life is amazing. He is a good and gracious God who loves to take me deeper with him .