Double portion

I’m in a season where The Lord is showing me that He is personal. I’ve grown up in a Christian family all my life. It was normal for my Father to see an angel in the middle of eating dinner. Get out his bible and start praying over our family. I’ve known he was real , but always wanted more. I was always anxious to move to the next season where I would see more of him.

That’s why I missed.so.much.

I didn’t know how to rest through a season . Any season. In a good season I was waiting for the bad. In a bad season I was waiting for the good. I didn’t allow him to work in me despite my circumstances. Ya feel me?

That’s why I’ve had to go through difficult things . I know that now.

The other day I was exhausted making breakfast for the kids, kind of like last Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,Friday and Saturday. Oh and Sunday. I knew I was missing one. I just put a box of cereal in the fridge.

Anyway, I went out to our chicken coop to get some eggs. I gathered two eggs and went inside.

I cracked open the first egg. It was a double yoke.

I’m not gonna lie my first thought was …. Oh shiz he is showing me that I’m pregnant with twins. I don’t feel pregnant. Oh but yesterday I wanted a hot dog real bad. I usually don’t like hot dogs except when I’m…… Oh crap.

Then he switched my mindset real quick.

” I’m giving you double portion of what was stolen.”

Oh ok . That’s better. Because I’d have to buy another Ergo.

Cool lord. But are you sure?

I cracked open the second egg. Another double yoke.

“Yes Rach I’m sure.”

Ok I believe you now. I received what he was trying to tell me. I said aloud ….

” ok. I see what you are doing here.”

I laughed a little. It’s ok to laugh at Jesus you know. He’s funny.

The funny thing is eggs have been hurting my stomach for months. I love eggs though. It’s been like torture to fix eggs for my kids that I can’t eat. Momma needs some protein. It’s no secret I weigh 45 lbs.

“Eat a few bites.”

Nah lord. Who will watch the kids while I puke? Eat them Rachel.

So I did. They were the most delicious things on this earth. A little cheese on top. Ok y’all don’t care… Moving on.

My stomach didn’t hurt. It was a miracle. No it wasn’t . I was just being obedient.

So, moving on to today. Asher stayed home from school because he was up all night coughing. Literally I could hear him downstairs. The poor child has blood shot eyes this morning. I couldn’t send him off to school. So all morning we have been playing trains. I seriously love how his mind works. He is amazing.

Let’s put this here. Let’s build this. Let’s try this new way. His mind is constantly fixing things and working overtime. I’m all like … What? How did you even think of that.

The Lord began to show me something . I saw the value and importance of having a relationship with my son. Having one on one time with him. Elementary right? Of course I’ve always known that was important. I’ve always spent time with all of my children individually , but until today I didn’t see the parallel between my son and a THE son.

Why are Christians so bored with church? Why are they so bored in their relationship with Jesus? Because it hasn’t gotten personal yet. You haven’t sat down and played trains with him.

In order to keep a relationship alive and functioning you need to feel like its personal. When all you know about having a relationship with Jesus is reading the bible. Being involved in your Wednesday night service at church. Stand up, sit down. Sing this song. Do this . But heaven forbid you do that. That’s bad.

Im not saying reading your bible or Wednesday night services are useless. They aren’t . But when there’s no relationship. No change in your spirit . It’s boring right? There’s no growth . No new fruit.

Jesus wants so much to work in you and through you. He wants to show you that he is proud of you. He wants to be creative with you. He wants to take you to new levels with him . There’s always more when you’re walking with him. In every season there’s something to be learnt.

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Double portion

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